Everybody hurts

Please excuse me for a few moments for this is not a happy post.

I'm not sure what to call this feeling. There are three things that always trigger these feelings: Christmas, my birthday and one event I'd rather not divulge in public. No matter how I surround myself with love and focus it to our bundle of joy, that feeling of despair creeps out attacking you out nowhere living you feeling dejected and vulnerable. And I don't know how to channel it to something else. I used to get a hold of that feeling and pour it into words and write free verse or walk aimlessly in the streets of downtown Manila until I find that peace in bookstores and get lost in books. Or ride a bus to the farthest city in the Metro just to feel the wind blow my hair and watch the urban scenery pass by. I cannot do that now. Not with my responsibility to my little girl. I feel so contained. So trapped. And I can't even cry. I can't even let it go and get it off my chest. I just feel so lost.


  1. in the movie percy jackson his mom told him "someday it will all makes sense"...

    you'll get those answers someday...hopefully soon...

  2. Okay. first of all.... *massive hug*

    I may not have kids of my own, but I know what it feels like. Let it out; it's perfectly okay. You're actually doing it right now, writing about it.


    I'd be more than happy to cry this out with you.

  3. hugs :) meditate and pray sissy ;)

  4. I don't know what you're going through but guess what, crying helps a lot. allow yourself to cry like you've never cried before. it's not a sin, neither a sign of weakness. it's just means that you're just a human being, capable of being sad and weak and yet, on the up side of it, you're capable of being happy and strong.

    God speed!


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